Grieving in a Digital Age

Grieving in a Digital Age

February 3, 2015

While nothing can replace the hug of a friend or the presence of family at a funeral service, the digital age offers many non-traditional ways of coping with grief including online guest books for condolences; online obituaries and memorials; online bereavement groups and social media platforms.

Funeral homes offer online services

Following the death of a loved one, your funeral home offers essential services that cannot be replaced digitally, such as meeting with your funeral director to discuss the type of service that is most in accord with your values; providing a place for loved ones to gather for visitation as well as funeral services and burial. But funeral homes also offer digital possibilities that can enhance the traditional funeral services.

Funeral homes today are able to post the deceased’s obituary online, making it easy for loved ones across the country or around the globe to access the information. Online guest books allow those from near and far to leave their condolences. Those online sentiments both console the grieving family and allow guests the opportunity to express their sympathies no matter where they are located at any time day or night.

Online Memorials

The digital age also allows funeral homes to create online memorial pages and tributes. This allows loved ones from all over to virtually come together to share thoughts, memories, pictures and insights about the loved one on a platform that can be accessed twenty-four hours a day. Loved ones can create webpages in memory of the person who has passed away including special memories, biographies, timelines and photographs. Others can then leave messages, post memories or add photographs as well.

Online bereavement support groups

Bereavement groups provide a support system for mourners. Support groups, whether in person or online, provide the opportunity to share your story of loss openly and talk about coping day-to-day, as well as on the most difficult days. Hearing the stories of others lets us know that we are not alone in our grief journey. Grief support groups offer comradery and understanding from others experiencing a similar loss and the challenges that living with grief brings.

Online bereavement groups offer several advantages. Those in pain can reach out to a sympathetic community any time of the day or night. Grief often creates insomnia and it helps to know that someone who cares is out there during the lonely nights. Online communities and bulletin boards are useful for those who have difficulty traveling to meet in person or find comfort in posting difficult feelings and experiences anonymously.

Social Media

Social media provides a digital platform to remember our loved ones after they’re gone. For young people who have grown up in a

digital age, social media allows them to grieve in a way that makes sense to them.

Posts on Facebook, Twitter or other social media platforms can provide a place for sharing our grief, even years after a loved one’s passing. Users often post on the birthday or anniversary of the death of a loved as a way to remember and pay tribute.

David Sherman of Jupiter, Florida recently posted a message and photo on his Facebook wall to pay tribute to his father on the anniversary of his passing: my dad,Pappa Murray, passed away 33 years ago – his memory is a blessing… pictured here with his boys (1980)

Posts on social media remind friends and family of the deceased and allows them the opportunity to remember and offer support. One of David’s friends was reminded of happy moments shared: Wow…when you mentioned this photo I remembered the day I took it. Thanks for reminding me of those fun times!

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By John Keohane February 27, 2025
Brigette Gibson, Funeral Director You’re a Quincy native from a large family. You were familiar with Keohane from growing up, right? Yes, through growing up in Quincy, but actually, John Keohane raised his family right across the street from my grandmother. And John’s wife, who I call Miss Wilk, was my kindergarten teacher at Sacred Heart! How did you end up working at Keohane and becoming the Office Manager for the Weymouth locations? COVID, I think for everyone, was a time of change and reflection. My son was five months old when COVID started. It was such a blur back then, but I knew I didn't want to go back to what I was doing. I thought I’d work part-time and be home more with him. So I went on Indeed and saw that there was a job for a part-time bookkeeper here. I thought, “that's great, part-time! I can do that. I can still be home with him. I don't have to send him to daycare full-time. I started as the bookkeeper and I did that for about a year. During that time, I did the books but I also wanted to learn everything. I started listening to people answer the phones. Some of the staff took me under their wings and when they heard me speak with people, they said “you have a knack for this. You make people feel comfortable and you’re trustworthy. You follow through with whatever you say.” John Keohane noticed something in me and one day he came to my office and said “Brigette, I want you to be the Office Manager.” I told him I wasn’t sure. Even though I was never actually part-time, I was working 40-45 hours a week from the start because I loved it and wanted to learn everything. I liked what I was doing. But it’s very hard to say no to John, and so I became the Office Manager (laughs). What did you do before joining Keohane? I went to nursing school. When you’re 17 years old and someone says “what do you want to be when you grow up?” I thought I wanted to be a nurse. I learned very quickly that I didn’t want to be a nurse! I was still trying to find myself and was waitressing and working as a nanny, but it didn’t spark my joy. Something was missing. When I started working at Keohane, I realized that I love the family care that comes with this job. You’re now a full-time Funeral Director! Yes! I passed all my exams last September and was sworn in. What’s the transition been like? Are there days when you wake up and think “I can’t believe this is what I’m doing now?” I’ve enjoyed every aspect, from being the bookkeeper and managing the office to now being a funeral director. I’ve appreciated every single moment. And now that I’m here, I still want to learn, I still want to know what’s next for this career? How else can I grow? There are eight funeral directors at Keohane and each of them has taught me something over the past two years, and they still do. I still rely on them every single day and I’m still learning. It sounds like you’ve received a kind of parallel education at Keohane, in addition to what you learned in college to get the degree. Yes. And the other funeral directors will come to me when they have a billing question or death certificate question, things that I’ve done behind the scenes over the past few years, because as the Office Manager I handled all of the scheduling and death certificate information and calling the doctors and the churches and organizing. What are some of the basic responsibilities of a funeral director? It starts with the first phone call, and it could be a call before someone has passed, or it’s the first call after someone has passed. We’re there to help guide them. We’re not there to tell them what to do; we’re there to help them make decisions. We have to ask the hard questions. Death is still taboo to some people. They’ve never talked about death with their loved ones . It’s counseling people, discovering how they want to celebrate their loved one’s life. We explain to them that if they want to hold visiting hours, this is what’s going to happen. This is what you’ve got to do. And then we sit down together with the family and plan the services. There can be a lot of juggling. Some family members might have different opinions on services. Our job is to guide and educate them on what’s best. And then, getting all of the Mass information and planning the Mass and scheduling visiting hours and services and cemetery info. If you don’ thave a cemetery propery, do you opt for cremation? Cremation opens a lot of options as well, which a lot of families are now choosing, and we as funeral directors can help them plan what to do. You become a kind of therapist in a way, providing a voice of calm when there’s so much difficulty swirling around them. This is already a hard day. You don’t need to make it harder by focusing too much on the smaller details. We’ll help you with all of this. There’s also the aftercare when services have ended. Families go home and they have to sit with some of those feelings. Often they’ll start to get anxious about closing a bank account and what do do with the cars. We’re there to answer any questions a family may ask, and if we don’t know the answer, we’ll try to get them the answer. We’re here to help you. And sometimes when I’m out and about, someone will come up to me and say “oh, you ran my grandmother’s service,” or “you were the funeral director at my uncle’s wake” and they offer such kind feedback. I love that about this job. What does an apprenticeship as a funderal director entail? What are some of the responsibilities that you took on during that period? My apprenticeship was a lot different than most people’s. I never came to Keohane thinking I’d be a funeral director. John (Keohane) said “I see something special in you and let’s work this through,” because I was still the Office Manager! I was educated, I had the skills, but I still wanted to learn everything hands-on that I was learning in school. So I’d go on transfers, I would be in the care center helping as a second pair of hands, observing as much as I could. I’d help set up visiting hours, help on funerals whereever I was needed. We all need to learn. It’s not my family; it’s our family we’re serving. How difficult was it to manage your studies while doing your day job and maintaining your family life? I went to school full time and I still raised a family and I just got it done. I took summer courses. I took winter courses. I had a goal that I was going to get this done in less than two years. And I did. It was a blur. I couldn't tell you about the past few years. But I'm really proud of being able to do that as a mom and working full-time. Just being a mom and going back to school in my late 30s… you guys can do this! Just just put your head down and power through it. The industry is changing quite a lot. Americans are becoming less religiously affiliated. Cremation is becoming a much more popular option than it used to be. How do you adapt to meet the changing needs for funeral care? Ooh, good question! As funeral directors, now we can become creative. We can make services that much more personable and build them around what the family wants. I’ve been lucky enough to have a few families that didn’t want to go to church but still wanted a service.It might take a little longer to pull some of the information out of them, but once we do, we’re able to dig into our creative sides. I felt that I was able to do that with some of these families that wanted to choose their own service, and I got to know the decedent that much better. I got to know who I was serving. I had a service for a Deadhead (Grateful Dead fan) a few months ago. The decedent’s brother told me that he liked the Dead, followed the band around for a long time. So everyone wore tie dye to the funeral, they shared stories about traveling around the U.S., and we played Grateful Dead music. The man’s nephew got up and sang a Grateful Dead song with his guitar. When they were leaving, the man’s brother said “this is exactly what he would have wanted. This is exactly how his friends saw him. This was the closure that we needed. What are your favorite parts of the job? Oh God, there’s so many! I like the initial arrangement with the family. I feel like the families come in so nervous. They don’t know what to expect. We just start to talk. I don’t jump into the arrangements right away. I’ll listen to someone share their stories and their memories for as long as it takes. I truly enjoy that aspect, getting to know them. I’ll ask them about their family member who’s passed, and they often will start sharing stories and memories right away . And towards the end of the service, when the family will stop and take a moment to say “thank you, thank you for doing this.” I always tell them that they were doing the hard work. This is what I love to do, and it’s a gift. Keohane does a lot of outreach in the community. What are a few of your favorite local community organizations? It’s been awesome to see Dennis (Keohane), especially, have such a passion for the playground or the skate park. I’m most passionate about Quincy, since I’m born and raised here. I love seeing the Keohanes involved with the Quincy 400 and Interfaith Social Services and the annual coat drive. We’re a staple of the community. You can contact Brigette Gibson via email: brigette@keohane.com or call 781.335.0045. Meet the full Keohane team here .
By John Keohane February 27, 2025
Cremation has become an increasingly popular choice for end-of-life arrangements. Per the National Funeral Directors Association, 62% of people opt for cremation, nearly double the volume of people choosing a traditional burial. Despite the rising volume of cremations in the U.S., misconceptions about the process persist. This blog post aims to dispel the most common myths, provide you with factual information, and help you in making informed decisions regarding cremation. Of course, you are always welcome to speak with a Keohane team member to answer specific questions or learn more in-depth what our process entails. Myth 1: Cremation Is Environmentally Harmful Fact: Traditional cremation involves high energy consumption and emissions. However, advancements have led to more eco-friendly alternatives. For instance, water cremation, also known as alkaline hydrolysis, is considered gentler and more sustainable than conventional methods. Additionally, you can choose a biodegradable urn or scatter ashes in meaningful locations to further reduce environmental impact. (We can help you arrange a scattering of ashes on land or sea; learn more here .) Myth 2: Cremation Limits Memorialization Options Fact: Cremation offers a variety of personalized memorialization choices. Beyond traditional urns, ashes can be incorporated into special jewelry , artwork, or even planted with a tree to create a living memorial. These options provide families like yours with meaningful ways to honor your loved ones. Myth 3: Religious Beliefs Prohibit Cremation Fact: While some religions have specific guidelines regarding body disposition, many have become more accepting of cremation. It's essential that you consult with your spiritual advisor to understand your faith's current stance, making sure that your choices align with your beliefs. Myth 4: Cremation is Less Respectful Than Burial Fact: Respect and dignity are paramount in both cremation and burial processes. Keohane Funeral and Cremation adheres to strict protocols to ensure that the deceased is handled with the utmost care, regardless of the chosen method. We hold sacred the tremendous responsibility you’ve given us in your time of need. Making an Informed Decision When considering cremation, take the following factors into account: Personal Values: Consider your environmental concerns, spiritual beliefs, and personal preferences. Family Wishes: Engage in open discussions with family members to ensure that the chosen method honors collective sentiments. This is another reason why advanced planning is such a worthwhile investment of your time. Financial Considerations: Cremation can be more cost-effective than traditional burials, though your costs will vary based on the services you choose. Legal Requirements: Familiarize yourself with local regulations and ensure all necessary documentation is in order. At Keohane, we understand deeply that choosing between cremation and burial is an intensely personal decision. Our compassionate team is here to provide you with comprehensive information, answer all of your questions, and support you in making the best choices for you and your family’s values and wishes. Contact us today to learn more about our cremation services and how we may assist you in arriving at your best choices.